Real love is about sharing space, respecting each other’s choices, and finding happiness in each other’s joy 😊. This is how the true meaning of love comes alive in everyday life. Marriage, its energy, and its vitality are all about a strong, adult-to-adult companionship.
When two adults begin to live together, they each bring their own strengths and weaknesses. One partner may be or may appear to be more capable or confident in certain areas. This is particularly noticeable in the financial and social aspects 💼🗣️. If there’s a significant disparity over time, whether spoken or unspoken, one partner may start to take on a dominant role.
When One Partner Acts as a Parent 🧑🏫:
- Make decisions unilaterally.
- Monitor or correct the other’s behaviour 👀.
- Assume primary responsibility for financial, household, social or emotional management 🏠💰.
- Criticise or micromanage their spouse 🧐.
- Overprotection: One partner may act as though the other needs constant supervision and shielding 🛡️.
This dynamic may initially start from an intention of care, but it usually leads to resentment and an imbalance of power within the relationship 💔. The partner who is being “parented” may feel powerless or unappreciated, which can reduce their self-esteem 😞.
ARE YOU A PARENT IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP? 🧓
While taking on the role of the parent in a relationship—making all the decisions your way and taking full control—may seem effective and impressive on the surface, it carries a complex mix of emotions and consequences for both individuals involved.
The fact is, it provides far fewer benefits than harm, especially when it comes to the quality of the relationship.
Challenges Faced by the “Parent” Partner:
1) The weight of responsibility:
The parental role often begins with a sense of responsibility and care. They want to ensure that life runs smoothly, that important tasks are handled, and that conflicts are minimised. There’s a certain satisfaction in being proactive and decisive, and sometimes it simply feels easier to take charge rather than discuss every decision.
2) The hidden burden:
Over time, this partner may find the role exhausting. The constant pressure to make the right choices, anticipate problems, and manage the couple’s lives can become a significant burden 😓. They may quietly wish for their partner to take more initiative, share the load, or even challenge their decisions.
3) The impact on the other partner:
Despite the best intentions, the “parent” partner’s supervision and decision making can lead to the other’s withdrawal. The parent partner may notice their significant other’s frustration, sadness, or reluctance to express opinions, and feel regretful for unintentionally diminishing their partner’s confidence 😞.
4) The erosion of partnership:
A sense of partnership and spontaneity fades in these situations. What was once an equal and playful relationship can become distant and transactional 🤷♂️. The “parent” partner may long for the days of planning together, rather than always setting the agenda alone.
5) Emotional Consequences:
Emotionally, this role can be isolating. The “parent” partner may feel lonely, burdened, or even resentful about carrying so much responsibility. There is also the concern that they are stifling their partner’s growth and independence, which is far from what they intended for the relationship 💔. The loss of enjoying the company and companionship of an equal partner may lead them to seek this elsewhere, which brings its own complications.
ARE YOU A ‘CHILD’ IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP? 👶
Challenges Faced by the “Child” Partner:
Happiness doesn’t lie in spending your whole day or your whole life just doing what is necessary. It lies in finding a few moments each day to do something that brings your soul to peace and calm, something only you can choose for yourself 🧘♀️. This is where a child partner loses their happiness day by day.
1) Loss of autonomy and self-esteem:
The ‘child’ partner often feels a loss of power. They may constantly be told how to spend money, what they should wear, or how they should manage their work-life balance. Their little nitty grities are weighed as necessary or not 💸👗.
Over time, this can create a dependency, where the “child” partner feels incapable of making simple decisions on their own. Their opinions may be dismissed, and their ability to contribute as an equal is undermined, leading to diminished self-confidence 😔.
2) Resentment and emotional distance:
The dependent partner may feel belittled or incapable. It’s not just words—body language and overall vibe also speak loudly. These nonverbal cues, such as dismissive gestures or negative expressions, can be just as impactful as open criticism.
Continuous presence of this imbalance creates an atmosphere of disrespect in the relationship. Gradually, this leads to emotional distance and avoidance of togetherness.
3) Difficulty establishing healthy boundaries:
The “child” partner struggles to distinguish their own needs from their partner’s expectations. This can lead to confusion, people-pleasing, and neglecting their own well-being 🚷. Subtle disrespect often extends to their friends and family as well.
4) Anxiety and fear of conflict:
Fear of disappointing the “parent” partner can create anxiety 😟 and avoidance of honest communication. The “child” partner may suppress their needs or opinions to keep the peace.
5) Stunted personal growth:
Low confidence, poor decision-making ability, and a lack of communication power at home become ingrained traits, which also reflect in the outside world. These traits prevent them from receiving appreciation and hinder their growth at work too 🧱.
6) Impact on children:
Children may learn that relationships are about power and control, not partnership and equality 🚸. They might see one parent as weak or unimportant, and this can damage their sense of security. These children may grow up to mirror the same imbalance in their relationships.
Power Moves
Want a balanced, fulfilling relationship? 💞
Let’s break the parent-child dynamic and build something beautiful and respectful together.
If You Are the “Parent” Partner Willing to Change:
- Ask yourself: “Will this decision have a major impact?” If not, let your partner handle it 🧠.
- Encourage independence: “You don’t need my advice for this. Go ahead and do what you feel is best” 💬.
- Step back from minor decisions: Mistakes are okay. Say: “It’s fine, we’ll fix it together.” 🤝
- Balance space: If they like something, show support. If you don’t, say: “If it makes you happy, go ahead.”
- Stop micromanaging tasks they usually handle. Let them decide what and how 🍳.
- On money: Give them autonomy. Add 5–10% extra for comfort. Trust them 💵.
- Respect social boundaries. Ask them before inviting guests 🏠.
If You Are the “Child” Partner and Your Partner Refuses to Change:
- Start with small personal changes—routine, attire, timing. Boost your confidence 🧍♀️➡️🧍♂️.
- Gain financial independence. Look for work or at least get “pocket money.” Your dignity matters 💰.
- Stop oversharing every detail. Ask: “Is this really necessary to tell?” Guard your independence 🛡️.
- Mistakes are okay. Every small choice helps you grow stronger over time 🌱.
❤️ Final Thought:
You deserve respect, balance, and love in your relationship. Whether you’re acting like a parent or feeling like a child—change begins with awareness and action. Start small. Build confidence. And create space for equality, connection, and mutual joy 🌈.
Also Read: How to Cope When You Discover Emotional Infidelity or Cheating
Beautiful! So relatable